I'm trying
something different to get in the holiday spirit this year. Every
day, from now through Christmas, I will be watching a different
Christmas movie or television special. I have compiled the list of
features ahead of time and am drawing one, at random, from my
Christmas stocking everyday to determine what gets watched. Thank
you for joining me in this endeavor. We have reached the end of this
project. Time to reveal the last feature.
The Star Wars
Holiday Special (1978)
Full disclosure, this pick was not random. Since around 2007 or so
it has become tradition for my brother and I to watch this every
Christmas Eve. Why do we subject ourselves to this? That is a
really good question. The Star Wars Holiday Special aired on CBS
exactly once and has never received an official retail release.
However, because it is Star Wars related, early VHS recordings of it
have persisted, dubbed and passed from fan to fan through the years.
This pick is also the second one where I am not viewing an
unadulterated copy. Like Nestor earlier this month, the version that
we always watch is the Rifftrax version. Believe me, if you are
planning on watching along do yourself a favor and get one with
intentional jokes added.
Synopsis
Where
do you even start with describing the Star Wars Holiday Special? The
main plot can be summarized succinctly as Chewbacca is trying to make
it back home to his family on Kashyyyk in time to celebrate the
wookiee holiday of Life Day. However, while that may be the
overarching plot of the special it misses so much of what makes the
Star Wars Special so notoriously bad. First, rather than seeing Han
and Chewie struggling to get Chewie back in time while dodging
Imperials, we instead spend most of the special with Chewie's family.
Most of the first half hour of the special is simply Chewie's wife
Mala, son Lumpy, and father Itchy growling and grunting at each other
with absolutely no subtitles.
 |
| Gripping, just gripping. |
Outside
of this, the special falls in to all the traps of a seventies variety
show. We are subjected to long drawn out musical numbers by
Diahann
Caroll and Jefferson
Starship. There
are also comedy bits with Harvey Korman that fall completely flat.
All of this makes the special feel really disjointed and
slow. So very, very slow. In the end, Han and Chewie make it back
to Kashyyyk, Han kills a stormtrooper and the trader Saun Dann throws
the Imperials off their scent. Life Day
can the proceed. Chewbacca and his family don red robes, grab
crystal balls and walk into a sun. They are then in a weird, empty
room and Han, Luke, Leia, and the droids are all there suddenly.
Leia sings a song, and it is bad. Later, Chewie and his family are
back in their house and Life Day winds down.
 |
| I honestly have no idea what is supposed to be happening here. |
Final Thoughts
The Star Wars Holiday Special is as bad as you have heard. There is
almost nothing redeeming about it. Watching the Rifftrax version
helps but even with the added jokes it is a chore to make your way
through this. My brother and I have gotten a good number of inside
jokes that we can bring up at holidays but I am fairly certain that
the price we paid for those jokes was not worth it. This special is
intolerably slow. The pacing is so bad that it still feels like a
slog even though I know it by every beat at this point. The
seventies commercials that are part of the Rifftrax version are
pretty fun. They are honestly more enjoyable than the special for
the most part. As a bonus, you know that every commercial break that
you make it to brings you ever close to the end of the special.
 |
| Buy Tobor. As the commercial points out, Tobor is robot spelled backwards. |
I can’t really recommend this one, but I don’t think that will
prevent anyone who was considering watching this from doing so.
After all, it is a Star Wars feature and there is a cartoon segment
in the middle that features the first appearance of inexplicable fan
favorite character Boba Fett. That alone means that people will seek
this out. Don’t, just don’t. Do yourself a favor and avoid
this. If you must see this, make sure you get the Rifftrax version and watch it with someone
else. Misery loves company. Thanks for going on this journey with
me this holiday season. It really did work to get me in the spirit
and I have felt good about getting to write more. Anyway, thank you
for reading. I’ve got some more features planned so keep checking
back as Pixelated Pastimes branches out in 2017. See you soon.
 |
| Boba Fett seen here doing more than he ever did in the actual movies. |
No comments:
Post a Comment